Back in my drinking days I would find myself in a bar watching my friends sing karaoke on a fairly regular basis. I was always adamant that I don't do karaoke, I'm one of those sing in private types who can't carry a tune in a bucket. That never seems to stop some people though, heckling bad karaoke is a good time! The people I really want to heckle are the assholes who take it seriously. Some girl who spent all four years of high school in show choir will always get up there and warble through Wind Beneath My Wings.
Anyway...Friday night I found myself at karaoke for the first time in years. Again, I insisted I would not be singing on stage. You know where this is headed, right? This place had a real stage too, not just a corner of a little 8 X 8 dance floor.
A friend of mine wanted me to sing Paradise By the Dashboard Lights with her. HAHAHA! Not only am I not singing, I'm sure as hell not singing a 10 minute song. I don't know what alien had invaded my body but I agreed to look through the list and pick a song to sing with her. The song had to be fun, short and I had to know all the lyrics. Thank goodness for 80's hair bands, those songs are very forgiving.
So, my first (and hopefully last) time singing karaoke was Poison's Talk Dirty to Me. I have to admit, I was totally sober and had so much fun doing it, I actually thanked my friend for convincing me to get up there. Don't worry, you'll never see me in front of Simon, Paula and Randy.
I told Dan the Trainer about it this morning, "OMG! I did something I've never done before this weekend!" I thought for sure his response would be "Anal?" but he said "Sex with a girl?" Since it's been so long since I've posted a Dan conversation, I'll give you another one. This was after doing legs this morning.
Dan: "I need you to do abs and then cardio"
Me: "I need you to do some things too but I don't see that happening"
Dan: "Oh, it'll happen..."
Me: "You're gonna wash my car?"
I did abs, then 45 minutes of cardio.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Dan the Trainer
I haven't gushed about Dan the Trainer recently. In case you forgot, I *heart* him.
Every so often Dan gets on the list kick and makes me bring in lists of various things. Grocery lists, goal lists, exercise lists, etc. I HATE making lists, but I do it. Dan means well and I know he is just trying to help me. Seriously though, lists? How about a list of things my trainer makes me do that I hate? That's a list I could get excited about. Anyway...He trained me on Sunday and gave me a homework assignment. I was tasked with making a list of short term goals and then one long term goal. I was making the list before our appointment tonight (on post it notes of all things) and decided to see if he really reads them. #5 on my list of short term goals was "Sex with Dan". He reads the lists.
Today was leg day. I love leg day except for that one exercise he makes me do every time. Asshole. The gym has this wooden box thingy, maybe a foot and a half high, and Dan makes me step up and down on it. Grr. I had just finished some sort of leg press when I saw him going for the torture device. He brought it over to me and I said "You can just forget about number 5!"
He always tries to make me laugh as I'm huffing and puffing up and down and up and down that damned box, because making me laugh when I can barely breathe makes it all better.
By the time we were done, my legs felt like jello. I guess that's what 30 minutes with Dan will do to a girl. That's assuming Dan can go for 30 minutes.
Every so often Dan gets on the list kick and makes me bring in lists of various things. Grocery lists, goal lists, exercise lists, etc. I HATE making lists, but I do it. Dan means well and I know he is just trying to help me. Seriously though, lists? How about a list of things my trainer makes me do that I hate? That's a list I could get excited about. Anyway...He trained me on Sunday and gave me a homework assignment. I was tasked with making a list of short term goals and then one long term goal. I was making the list before our appointment tonight (on post it notes of all things) and decided to see if he really reads them. #5 on my list of short term goals was "Sex with Dan". He reads the lists.
Today was leg day. I love leg day except for that one exercise he makes me do every time. Asshole. The gym has this wooden box thingy, maybe a foot and a half high, and Dan makes me step up and down on it. Grr. I had just finished some sort of leg press when I saw him going for the torture device. He brought it over to me and I said "You can just forget about number 5!"
He always tries to make me laugh as I'm huffing and puffing up and down and up and down that damned box, because making me laugh when I can barely breathe makes it all better.
By the time we were done, my legs felt like jello. I guess that's what 30 minutes with Dan will do to a girl. That's assuming Dan can go for 30 minutes.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
More food
Now that I've kicked my little percocet addiction, I'm a cooking fool. No, I probably wasn't really addicted, but I can see how it happens. I got to the point that I looked forward to taking 2 of them and the overall "high" that came with it. I was offered another prescription shortly before the stent was removed, and I actually turned it down. It's for the best.
Now that the stent is out and I can walk around the grocery store, I'm cooking again. Damn good thing too, considering how my clothes fit after a month of fast food.
I've been in the mood for some Indian food lately. One of these days I'm going to make some from scratch. Today was not that day. Have you ever looked at a recipe for rogan josh or chicken korma? Seriously, they read like War and Peace. All the comments I read after the recipes said things like "It's not as hard as it looks!" and "It's so worth it to make it from scratch!" I'm sure that's the case, but for $3.99 I can buy a jar of sauce and save hours of time NOT driving to the store and NOT toasting spices.
I used a pound of chicken breast, a couple chicken thighs and a bowl of cut up cauliflower.
Now that the stent is out and I can walk around the grocery store, I'm cooking again. Damn good thing too, considering how my clothes fit after a month of fast food.
I've been in the mood for some Indian food lately. One of these days I'm going to make some from scratch. Today was not that day. Have you ever looked at a recipe for rogan josh or chicken korma? Seriously, they read like War and Peace. All the comments I read after the recipes said things like "It's not as hard as it looks!" and "It's so worth it to make it from scratch!" I'm sure that's the case, but for $3.99 I can buy a jar of sauce and save hours of time NOT driving to the store and NOT toasting spices.
I used a pound of chicken breast, a couple chicken thighs and a bowl of cut up cauliflower.
The return of food porn
It's been a while since I posted pics of food, so I'm sharing this with you.
I had about 3/4lb of lamb in the fridge and wanted to do something with it that would not involve a trip to the grocery store.
I cut it into bite size pieces and coated them with flour and paprika. I heated up more olive oil than necessary in the bottom of a skillet, then browned the lamb. Once browned I added half a can of beef broth and baby carrot chunks. I let that simmer while I did dishes and cleaned out the fridge. 20 minutes maybe?
At this point, the broth was thickened and a knife pierced a carrot easily enough. I added some sliced mushrooms and chunks of baby zucchini. I brought it back up to a simmer and let it go while I put dishes away and cleaned the counters.
Final product:
I had about 3/4lb of lamb in the fridge and wanted to do something with it that would not involve a trip to the grocery store.
I cut it into bite size pieces and coated them with flour and paprika. I heated up more olive oil than necessary in the bottom of a skillet, then browned the lamb. Once browned I added half a can of beef broth and baby carrot chunks. I let that simmer while I did dishes and cleaned out the fridge. 20 minutes maybe?
At this point, the broth was thickened and a knife pierced a carrot easily enough. I added some sliced mushrooms and chunks of baby zucchini. I brought it back up to a simmer and let it go while I put dishes away and cleaned the counters.
Final product:
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
At least it hurt less than trying to pass the stone.
I always hear women say that after you give birth you have no more shame. I almost think the same can be said for kidney stones.
This morning I had the ureter stent removed. I was in an absolute panic about having this done because I knew it was going to hurt. I even asked the nurse if people scream having it removed. She chuckled and said yes, but its usually the men. I figured it couldn't hurt any worse than the stone, right? RIGHT!?!?!
The nurse took me to the exam room and instructed me to take off everything below the waist and get up on the table. First I had to see what was on the counter that had been so thoughtfully covered up with a towel. All I can say is OMFG.
*click*
I asked if that was for me, and as I feared, it was.
About this time I got a severe case of the panic giggles. My nurse, Mandy was great. She reassured me and patiently answered all my questions.
She had me lay back and put my feet in the stirrups so she could "prep the area". Huh? what needs to be prepped? It involved some topical lidocaine to ease insertion. Uh huh. Apparently it takes a good 10 minutes for the lidocaine to work because that's how long I got the lay there.
The doctor finally comes in and by this point I've worked myself up into near hysteria. He actually told me not to look at the equipment. Too late! He then said that favorite phrase of doctors, "you're going to feel a little pressure..." In my experience this pretty much covers everything from "a little pressure" to "holy shit, i'm white knuckling the sheet!"
The nurse, bless her heart, stood there the whole time and made small talk with me. It took less than 2 minutes to have the stent removed and aside from a little stinging (like peeing with a bladder infection) when it was coming out, it was no big deal at all.
I sure as hell don't want to do it again, though.
This morning I had the ureter stent removed. I was in an absolute panic about having this done because I knew it was going to hurt. I even asked the nurse if people scream having it removed. She chuckled and said yes, but its usually the men. I figured it couldn't hurt any worse than the stone, right? RIGHT!?!?!
The nurse took me to the exam room and instructed me to take off everything below the waist and get up on the table. First I had to see what was on the counter that had been so thoughtfully covered up with a towel. All I can say is OMFG.
*click*
I asked if that was for me, and as I feared, it was.
About this time I got a severe case of the panic giggles. My nurse, Mandy was great. She reassured me and patiently answered all my questions.
She had me lay back and put my feet in the stirrups so she could "prep the area". Huh? what needs to be prepped? It involved some topical lidocaine to ease insertion. Uh huh. Apparently it takes a good 10 minutes for the lidocaine to work because that's how long I got the lay there.
The doctor finally comes in and by this point I've worked myself up into near hysteria. He actually told me not to look at the equipment. Too late! He then said that favorite phrase of doctors, "you're going to feel a little pressure..." In my experience this pretty much covers everything from "a little pressure" to "holy shit, i'm white knuckling the sheet!"
The nurse, bless her heart, stood there the whole time and made small talk with me. It took less than 2 minutes to have the stent removed and aside from a little stinging (like peeing with a bladder infection) when it was coming out, it was no big deal at all.
I sure as hell don't want to do it again, though.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Like sand through the pee strainer...
I had my kidney stone lasered yesterday and now I'm peeing sand. Or salt. I have to strain my urine and after I go it looks (and feels) like tiny little grains of salt in the bottom of the strainer. Hey, I'll take it. For some reason peeing doesn't hurt nearly as bad now, I wonder how much pressure that stone was putting on my kidney, ureter or even stent.
The worst part was that my lasering was at 4:30pm (so you know I didn't get in until after 5pm). I had to follow surgery guidelines of nothing to eat or drink past midnight the night before. Its very hard not to drink water all day when you are used to drinking it a lot, add to that _KNOWING_ you can't have any. I did a lot of rinsing and spitting. Heh.
Of course, being dehydrated makes finding good veins a challenge. My arms and hands make me look like a junkie. Too bad it's not the week of Halloween. I could not shower for a couple days, put on lots of black eye makeup, tease up my hair and go as a fat Amy Wino.
The worst part was that my lasering was at 4:30pm (so you know I didn't get in until after 5pm). I had to follow surgery guidelines of nothing to eat or drink past midnight the night before. Its very hard not to drink water all day when you are used to drinking it a lot, add to that _KNOWING_ you can't have any. I did a lot of rinsing and spitting. Heh.
Of course, being dehydrated makes finding good veins a challenge. My arms and hands make me look like a junkie. Too bad it's not the week of Halloween. I could not shower for a couple days, put on lots of black eye makeup, tease up my hair and go as a fat Amy Wino.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Pew! Pew! Pew!
I'm getting lasered next week.
I'll start at the beginning. Last week I knew I had a kidney stone. I loaded up on Vicodin and went about my business. I've passed enough of them to know the drill. Take some drugs, drink lots of water, etc.
I woke up Saturday night about midnight in some serious pain. I took a Vicodin and paced my apartment for about 20 minutes waiting for it to kick in. 20 minutes passed, and I'm still in pain. 30 minutes and no relief. 40 minutes and I'm about to vomit. Time to get to the emergency room. I made a couple half-hearted attempts to call somebody to come take me, but it's easier and quicker to just drive myself. Stupid, I know. I've already been read the riot act by a few people.
Get to ER and thank goodness there was nobody else there waiting, I got right in. My nurse, Lola was wonderful. She took my vitals, gave me the dreaded gown and had me give a pee sample. I apologized to her for constantly pacing and moving, but she wasn't phased.
I could have kissed her when she came at me with the syringe of pain killers. I think it was Dilauded. An hour and 2 more shots later I was able to lay down.
I was still in pain, but it was tolerable.
At one point Nurse Lola made me call somebody to come up to the hospital "because you aren't driving!" I called Mom. I think at one point I asked Nurse Lola how she felt about the Copa Cabana song and Lola the showgirl.
The Doctor was nice, he commented on my hot pink toe nail polish and ordered a cat scan.
This is where it gets interesting. The cat scan reveals that I do in fact have a kidney stone. It's about 8mm. EIGHT!! Almost a centimeter. Like a raisin. I'm not going to pass this one and I'm being admitted to the hospital. Sweet.
I was pretty loaded, but I remember somebody telling me that once they get bigger than 3 or 4mm, they are near impossible to pass. Mine hasn't even left the kidney, it's trying to though, that's why I'm in pain.
The staff must have been a little bored because once they got me to my room, I had 2 nurses and 2 CNAs getting me settled. The CNA who weighed me commented on my hot pink toe nail polish.
9am Sunday morning, I'm laying there watching the gold medal basketball game and my day shift nurse, Kathy comes in. She's very cheery and tells me I am scheduled for surgery at 10am. WTF?!?! I don't think so.
Ok so it's not really surgery, it's a "procedure". Yeah, a procedure that requires general anesthesia. *click* to see what they did. Oh, and the OR nurse said she liked my hot pink toe nail polish.
Next Wednesday they are going to go in (up?) my ureter and blast the stone with lasers to break it up. Laser Lithotripsy I'm less concerned about this than I am about having the stent removed. The nurse told me that they just do it in the office a couploe weeks later, with no pain killers. Umm, ok. "It only takes a couple minutes!" Uh huh.
The first couple days after the stent was put in, I was pretty miserable, but Percocet helps :). We'll see how I do when they take the stent out.
I'll start at the beginning. Last week I knew I had a kidney stone. I loaded up on Vicodin and went about my business. I've passed enough of them to know the drill. Take some drugs, drink lots of water, etc.
I woke up Saturday night about midnight in some serious pain. I took a Vicodin and paced my apartment for about 20 minutes waiting for it to kick in. 20 minutes passed, and I'm still in pain. 30 minutes and no relief. 40 minutes and I'm about to vomit. Time to get to the emergency room. I made a couple half-hearted attempts to call somebody to come take me, but it's easier and quicker to just drive myself. Stupid, I know. I've already been read the riot act by a few people.
Get to ER and thank goodness there was nobody else there waiting, I got right in. My nurse, Lola was wonderful. She took my vitals, gave me the dreaded gown and had me give a pee sample. I apologized to her for constantly pacing and moving, but she wasn't phased.
I could have kissed her when she came at me with the syringe of pain killers. I think it was Dilauded. An hour and 2 more shots later I was able to lay down.
I was still in pain, but it was tolerable.
At one point Nurse Lola made me call somebody to come up to the hospital "because you aren't driving!" I called Mom. I think at one point I asked Nurse Lola how she felt about the Copa Cabana song and Lola the showgirl.
The Doctor was nice, he commented on my hot pink toe nail polish and ordered a cat scan.
This is where it gets interesting. The cat scan reveals that I do in fact have a kidney stone. It's about 8mm. EIGHT!! Almost a centimeter. Like a raisin. I'm not going to pass this one and I'm being admitted to the hospital. Sweet.
I was pretty loaded, but I remember somebody telling me that once they get bigger than 3 or 4mm, they are near impossible to pass. Mine hasn't even left the kidney, it's trying to though, that's why I'm in pain.
The staff must have been a little bored because once they got me to my room, I had 2 nurses and 2 CNAs getting me settled. The CNA who weighed me commented on my hot pink toe nail polish.
9am Sunday morning, I'm laying there watching the gold medal basketball game and my day shift nurse, Kathy comes in. She's very cheery and tells me I am scheduled for surgery at 10am. WTF?!?! I don't think so.
Ok so it's not really surgery, it's a "procedure". Yeah, a procedure that requires general anesthesia. *click* to see what they did. Oh, and the OR nurse said she liked my hot pink toe nail polish.
Next Wednesday they are going to go in (up?) my ureter and blast the stone with lasers to break it up. Laser Lithotripsy I'm less concerned about this than I am about having the stent removed. The nurse told me that they just do it in the office a couploe weeks later, with no pain killers. Umm, ok. "It only takes a couple minutes!" Uh huh.
The first couple days after the stent was put in, I was pretty miserable, but Percocet helps :). We'll see how I do when they take the stent out.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Sun burn
I need to stop hanging out at the pool on my days off. Usually on Mondays and Tuesdays the pool is pretty empty, and thus quiet. I always seem to fall asleep and wind up with a sunburn on my face. Just my face, and it usually goes away by the next day or so, but its really fricken uncomfortable that first night. I've been keeping a bottle of aloe vera gel in the fridge this summer. It feels so good and it really came in handy that time I grabbed a pan that had just been in the oven.
Today at the pool it was just me and 3 other girls. I don't know how I slept, as riveting as their conversation was.
The little blond was very concerned about how much money she should take to the bar when she turns 21 in March. MARCH! It's probably March of 2010 even. Stupid skank. Anyway, she isn't going to take very much money because she knows that guys will be buying her drinks, especially since it will be her birthday.
Another girl (at least I think it was a different girl) wants to get a credit card before she turns 21 so that she can build credit and buy a new Ford Mustang. If she has to get an older model, she'll get a convertible, but if she gets anything newer than a 2005, she doesn't want a convertible.
Too bad I fell asleep and missed the cure for cancer.
I shouldn't be that way, it's the pool, what are they supposed to talk about besides stupid shit?
Today at the pool it was just me and 3 other girls. I don't know how I slept, as riveting as their conversation was.
The little blond was very concerned about how much money she should take to the bar when she turns 21 in March. MARCH! It's probably March of 2010 even. Stupid skank. Anyway, she isn't going to take very much money because she knows that guys will be buying her drinks, especially since it will be her birthday.
Another girl (at least I think it was a different girl) wants to get a credit card before she turns 21 so that she can build credit and buy a new Ford Mustang. If she has to get an older model, she'll get a convertible, but if she gets anything newer than a 2005, she doesn't want a convertible.
Too bad I fell asleep and missed the cure for cancer.
I shouldn't be that way, it's the pool, what are they supposed to talk about besides stupid shit?
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