Yoga and the fat girl

Tonight was yoga. I'm learning things about my body doing yoga that I've never noticed doing cardio or strength. Tonight I noticed that I have a little raised vein on each foot. Most people can see veins on their hands, but mine are too padded. The tops of my feet are less padded, apparently.

I'm also learning a little something about my personality. We were in tree pose, modified for our bodies. We do it next to a wall so we can hold on if needed and we also don't bring the bent leg up very high. We can either keep it at the ankle or bring it up to the calf.
I did everything I possibly could to not have to use the wall because I get so angry that I even have to modify anything to accommodate my body. I don't like having to pause and consider my limitations before doing things. Even being around other people who don't care or even notice if I use the wall, my pride takes over. I may be fat, but I'm capable dammit! I want to just do it, like the Nike slogan. Nike was the Goddess of Victory in Greek mythology. Niki must have been the goddess of 'careful consideration and moderate success'. Bah.

One thing I don't have to modify is corpse pose. I can lay on the floor and relax just like anybody else. I think I fell asleep during the relaxation period this week. For a moment there I was in an episode of Quantum Leap. Scott Bakula was teaching the yoga class in a t-shirt and hot pants. Whatever incense the yoga instructor was burning must have been good.