What a crappy day

Today's shake was pork.

Ha! I had oatmeal and a left over pork chop for breakfast. Not blended.

Today was a HORRIBLE food day. My first thoughts upon waking were about food and what I was going to eat. I haven't been that obsessed with food in a long time. I decided to skip the breakfast shake and eat something a little more substantial, hoping that would quiet the voice in my head shouting, "FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD!"

It only worked for about 10 minutes. I think I may have figured out why I couldn't stop thinking about food. Wednesday night I stopped at Taco Bell on the way home from class. I don't have any business eating a Nachos Bell Grande at any time in my day, let alone at 10 o'clock at night. All the fat and sodium and soft tortillas...or crunchy chips in the case of nachos.
Taco Bell is one of those foods(?) that I have to be very careful with because it can trigger binge behavior. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but what the hell. I used to go through the drive through and order 7 or 8 items - a couple soft tacos, a couple chili cheese burritos, a Mexican pizza, a couple chalupas - and eat it all. Don't forget the diet soda!! HA! I can't tell you how sick I would be. Sick to my stomach, but numb otherwise.

So yesterday I did the best I could and although I ate a lot, I tried eating better foods and I think it helped. Today the obsession isn't nearly as strong.