Lipstick and Dorito dust

Last night I let a friend sucker me into going to one of those Mary Kay skin care parties. I remember going to a couple back in high school, but that was 15 years ago and all I remember is that everybody bought (and wore) the Mary Kay lip gloss.

So the whole process was pretty cheesy. 12 women, 4 Mary Kay ladies and more pink packaging than you can shake a stick at. After the highest ranking MK rep there welcomes you, the process begins. You get these little plastic pink and white trays with blobs of samples squirted on them and the MK rep talks about how wonderful MK is while instructing you to use the lotions and creams. After you cleanse, tone, moisturize, buff, polish, lather, rinse, repeat, etc, then comes the real fun. COLOR!

Your 'color consultant' gives you a little card and packet that has just enough make-up to turn you into a French whore. Lip liner and lip stick and lip gloss, oh my! I should have had somebody take a picture of me. I couldn't help laughing because the Mary Kay ladies are all walking around saying things like "You look gorgeous!" "Those colors are so you!"
The poor girl sitting next to me was this shy little teenager who ended up looking like a clown. She knew it, too! She was sitting there looking into her little mirror and I thought she was going to cry.

I do have to say something in defense of Mary Kay, though. This girl used every little bit of make-up that was given to her. Her consultant probably could have done a better job of helping her out, but when you have a room full of women with jobs and an income and one teenager, who would you focus on? I guess nobody thought about daddy and his wallet.

As cheesy as it all was, I did have a pretty good time.

On my way home I had to stop at the store, all whored up. I wanted a snack for when I got home and Doritos were on sale. Mmmm...nacho cheesier.

I'm standing at the kitchen counter, going through my mail, looking for the brightest orange triangles of corn based love I can find. The brighter orange the chip, the greater coverage of powdered nacho cheesiness. Don't forget, I'm still whored up. Since I have no experience eating Doritos while wearing lip liner, lip stick and lip gloss it doesn't even occur to me that I should take care to NOT let the chip touch my lips. I'm not shoving handfuls of chips into my mouth at once (this time), but even during normal consumption Dorito dust finds it's way onto your lips. After eating a handful of chips, I licked my lips. BAD IDEA. Imagine dipping a Dorito into some Vaseline.

It's probably a good thing that happened, I might have eaten more. I did go wash my face after that. Yeah, I bought some cleanser!